It has happened over and over again for me, such that I'm regretful for my lack of dedication. I'm having a bit of an ego battle with myself right now and I wish I hadn't repeatedly created this dilemma for myself: I haven't been dedicated enough to Spanish to allow for an easy transition into the things I'm interested in.
I was just instructed to drop the Latin American photography class for credit and take it on an invitational basis only. This means that I'll still be in the class but not even on the level of auditing it; I'll merely be there for observation and practice. This is alright in itself as I am looking not only for digital photography instruction but also to practice Spanish (the class is taught entirely in Spanish) but, as has happened to me each and every time I try to progress in Spanish classes, I find myself limited by the lack of work I've applied in the past to this language.
I've taken Spanish classes long enough that I should be conversationally fluent at this point. I haven't, however, dedicated myself to the study enough that my progress has been anything but dismally slow. My issue is with my passion for learning and practicing and mastering this language and the hypocrisy I seem to apply in proving that passion to myself and others.
Without making excuses, I've just slacked off. In every Spanish class I've ever taken. My enthusiasm is curbed now by being in the basic language track in this program - a definite blow to my ego). I am encouragingly told that "by the time you get to next semester, you will be in the advanced class!" but I want the challenge and application of coursework to push me quickly past my current meager grasp of the language.
I have no doubt that I'm going to improve quickly from this point, I only regret that I haven't built the foundation of application to insure fluency as soon as possible.
This work is still going to be very challenging, and in ways I've never experienced before, but I am going to have to become alright with the fact that, yet again, I need to start from the beginning.
Ok, smiles from now on! I'm off to meet my host family!
Alejandro! Buena suerte on your next adventure.
ReplyDeleteYou should get in touch with my friend who's also in Santiago!
From this story I am reminded of another. A case where you asked me, "Derek. Should I try and catch up on all the French work that I havn't done or just say f it and start from where we are now?" and my simple reply was, "Who cares? You're not going to need French anytime soon." and you looked at me and said, "I know but I want to feel like I'm doing something."
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